take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
