I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize