Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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