i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
