I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
