sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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