this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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