ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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