i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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