I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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