i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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