Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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