I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
