so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
