Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
