what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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