my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
