I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
