I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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