East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
