I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
