i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize