carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
