dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
