I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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