I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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