I like my sex mixed with concussions.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
