i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
