I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
