this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
