i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
