Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
