2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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