ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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