Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
