Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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