Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Blood and glitter go together right?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
