i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
