This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
