Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
