did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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