i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
