Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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