Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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