woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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