You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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