I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
