You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My vagina just recognized that song.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
