And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize