i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
