i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
