this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
