I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
