I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
