i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
