it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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