I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
