erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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