Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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