How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
