if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
