sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize