we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize