I skipped work to stalk him.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
