Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
