maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ladies don't puke and tell
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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